Got turned down again.. And on my birthday dawg, like c’monnnnnnn. What part of the game is this?

Today’s my birthday and all my friends and family wanna take me out but I only wanna really be with one person and it’s looking kinda blurry as of now. 😕

Those post are old down there..

I want to be so totally and utterly lost in you and I want you to be the same way towards me. I want to talk to you everyday. Somehow. Talk, text, FaceTime, whatever- I don’t care I just wanna hear from you. I wanna know how your day is going. I want to feel like if it’s going good, I made it better or if it’s not going so good that I brightened it just be you hearing my voice. We used to be like that. Why can’t we go back to that? Was it my fault? Because I feel like it was. Please tell me what I have to do to fix it. I want to put a smile on your face every time you see me. You put a smile on my face every time I see you, did you know that? Well you do. I wanted to try something new with this relationship that I haven’t done in any other ones I’ve been in and that was to actually be honest and speak up about how I felt. That was clearly a mistake and I wish I could take back ever telling you how I felt. I should’ve kept it to myself because you don’t understand. Now I’m crazy. Me expressing to you that something bothers me is me being crazy. I learned really quick to just keep my mouth shut and not say anything. You don’t want to hear it or deal with it and I’m tired of feeling like a psycho nagging bitch. I love you and I never thought I could love you the way I do and it still scares the shit out of me.. I don’t know what to do with these emotions and I feel like you don’t want to welcome them in so now what? And none of this makes sense so I’m gonna stop here. The ball is in your court..

What the hell am I doing here? You haven’t said anything but your actions are speaking volumes right now. You clearly don’t want me here so why am I here making this whole thing awkward? I’m not no punk ass or Sucka ass bitch, if something is bothering me I’m gonna speak on it. If I’m feeling some type of way about something went down and I wasn’t cool with it, I’m gonna say it. If I share my feelings with you and it’s not accepted or appreciated, because it’s happened before with you, then I’ll sit in those feelings and own it. I won’t back peddle because you don’t feel the same. Fuck that. I didn’t tell you my feelings so you would feel like you have to say them back. I told you because they were my feelings and it was pointless to lie or try and hide them. We should still be in a good place because this is so new and ‘we’ want this to last forever but every other day attitude and pride are finding their way in the middle. I don’t want any of that. I just want to be held by you. Kissed by you. Made love to.. Then fucked.. Then made love to again. You gave it then took it away. Give it back. I miss it and I miss you.